1 mile west of the Chicago Premium Outlet Mall (800) 810 3100
This is a reprint of a blog post originally published November 7, 2008.  Although almost 2 years have passed, many parents of disabled children still live in fear of what will happen when they can no longer serve as primary caregiver for their child.  We hope that reprinting this blog post will help  these parents understand their options for the future, and bring them some peace of mind.
My wife and I have almost reached the empty-nester stage. We look forward to that event with excitement, and a little anxiety too. We have raised four children, ranging in age from 32 to 17. After such a long run in parenting minors, it’s time to move on to that more senior stage referred to as being an empty-nester. Not everyone becomes an empty-nester. And although we sometimes joke about the child who “failed to launch” due to the inability to get a career, there’s another group of parents who will never know the joy of seeing their child be fully self-supporting. In my office it is not uncommon for me to sit across the table from an 83 year old parent who is still the primary caregiver for a child who is chronically disabled. Those parents live in dread of the day that they will die and their children may survive them and face a future without the loving protection of a parent. This is the first time in human history that parents face the possibility of having their chronically disabled children actually outlive them. Prior to the introduction of antibiotics and many other great advances in health care, chronically disabled children routinely died at a young age. But now, even parents who have lived to become the frail elderly themselves may have chronically disabled children who are themselves senior citizens, but who are still at home being cared for by their parents. In fact, sometimes when we assist families in bringing in a professional caregiver for the aged parents, those same caregivers are providing necessary services to the child with the disability, as well. This raises new challenges for those parents and their children. This type of disability is really quite common. “Developmental disabilities” are severe chronic conditions caused by mental and/or physical impairments. Individuals affected by such challenges may be so profoundly impacted that they will never be able to function independently. Most of these physical and mental issues are in evidence long before a child reaches the age of 22. These disabilities will last the lifetime of the affected person. So how can a parent be assured that a disabled child will be taken care of after the parent is gone? Some attorneys will recommend that you leave everything to another, non-disabled child, to care for the disabled sibling. This passing of the torch is unfair and in many ways ill-advised. Far better is the creation of a special needs trust specifically for the benefit of your disabled child. Click here to learn more about special needs trusts, and discover exactly why “passing the torch” is a bad idea.
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I had just checked into the Crawford Country Store and Motel—a combination convenience store and motel in Crawford, Colorado.  I had chosen to live at this clean and basic lodging during a five-day horse training clinic on the western slope of the Rockies.  After I found and entered my room, I dropped my bags and headed for the bathroom.  I walked in, turned to my right, and flipped the light switch—nothing happened.  “The light bulb must be burned out,” I thought.  I tried again—and nothing.  Well, I hustled back downstairs to the country store area and told the folks behind the counter that my bathroom light did not work.  A young man looked at me, chuckled, and said, “You need to flip the switch behind the towel.”  My jaw dropped and I asked, “There’s a switch behind the towel?”  He assured me that there was, as he had just used it that morning when he cleaned the room.  Shaking my head and wondering about whomever had decided to install a towel rack over a light switch, I went back upstairs to see if this was really true.  I put my hand behind the towel and felt a switch.  Bingo, the light turned on! I thought about this for a moment…  I had a low opinion of the decision to place a light switch “behind the towel”—but then it reminded me of how often in life the real answer to something is hidden from us.  The obvious answer is often not the right answer—this is why we need to find those professional counselors, health care providers, and lawyers who know where to find the light switch we need. Imagine for a moment that you suddenly have a diagnosis of some grave physical ailment.  You would most likely consider immediately hustling off to see experts places such as the Mayo Clinic or the Cleveland Clinic.  Another example: even though we are lawyers ourselves, we often hire other lawyers to give us advice in specific legal problem areas.  When we need to hire a lawyer, we seek out an experienced practitioner with a proven record.  You see, when I need an attorney, I want the best!  We don’t just hire the first person who says, “I’m sure I can take care of you, but I’m going to have to do some research in the area first.”  We hire legal counselors and refer our clients only to attorneys who can readily say, “Oh yes, we handle situations like yours every day.”  Those legal advocates know where the hidden light switches have been placed. When it comes to dealing with the issues of the frail, elderly, and disabled, Law Elder Law knows where those hidden light switches are.  Our areas of concentration are elder law estate planning, disability, Medicaid, and V.A. long term care benefits.  Our outstanding Law Elder Law team turns on the lights for our clients every day! towel-blog-towel-and-switch-pic-for-end-of-blog
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My wife and I have almost reached the empty-nester stage.  We look forward to that event with excitement, and a little anxiety too.  We have raised four children, ranging in age from 32 to 17.  After such a long run in parenting minors, it’s time to move on to that more senior stage referred to as being an empty-nester. Not everyone becomes an empty-nester.  And although we sometimes joke about the child who “failed to launch” due to the inability to get a career, there’s another group of parents who will never know the joy of seeing their child be fully self-supporting.  In my office it is not uncommon for me to sit across the table from an 83 year old parent who is still the primary caregiver for a child who is chronically disabled.  Those parents live in dread of the day that they will die and their children may survive them and face a future without the loving protection of a parent. This is the first time in human history that parents face the possibility of having their chronically disabled children actually outlive them.  Prior to the introduction of antibiotics and many other great advances in health care, chronically disabled children routinely died at a young age.  But now, even parents who have lived to become the frail elderly themselves may have chronically disabled children who are themselves senior citizens, but who are still at home being cared for by their parents.  In fact, sometimes when we assist families in bringing in a professional caregiver for the aged parents, those same caregivers are providing necessary services to the child with the disability, as well.  This raises new challenges for those parents and their children. This type of disability is really quite common.  “Developmental disabilities” are severe chronic conditions caused by mental and/or physical impairments.  Individuals affected by such challenges may be so profoundly impacted that they will never be able to function independently.  Most of these physical and mental issues are in evidence long before a child reaches the age of 22.  These disabilities will last the lifetime of the affected person. So how can a parent be assured that a disabled child will be taken care of after the parent is gone?  Some attorneys will recommend that you leave everything to another, non-disabled child, to care for the disabled sibling.  This passing of the torch is unfair and in many ways ill-advised. Far better is the creation of a special needs trust specifically for the benefit of your disabled child.  Check back next week to learn more about special needs trusts, and discover exactly why “passing the torch” is a bad idea.
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