1 mile west of the Chicago Premium Outlet Mall (800) 810 3100
“What in the world is that man doing?!” I asked attorney Zach Hesselbaum. It was a perfect summer afternoon and we had just left a client’s home at Alden of Waterford.  We could see a man creating something with homemade tools in an undeveloped area across from the residences.  We just had to get to know this man who, it turned out, was a pro at creating “landscape art”. Dale Chatfield is a man of simple and powerful virtues.  His initiative, integrity, and personality have drawn people to him, and then he has enriched their lives.  Zach and I spoke with Dale and his charming wife Doris.  They have been married 70 years. Dale was born October 10, 1911 in the central Nebraska plains.  He told us, “I grew up on the farm, and when I was a young man it seemed like I knew all the girls in Nebraska—but none of them were right for me!  It was The Great Depression, but I headed off to find my fortune in Denver.”  In Denver he lived frugally, studied accounting, and eventually got a job as an accountant for the Denver/Rio Grande Railway.  But Dale was never meant to just sit at a desk.  He is competitor, and is driven to always do more than what is expected.  Doris beamed and proudly told us, “Dale has spent his whole life going the extra mile.  We had a dry cleaning business for 32 years.  The business, called D&D Cleaners (for Dale and Doris), grew because my husband always gave extraordinary personal attention to each customer.  Even after people moved away from our neighborhood, they would drive back to have Dale do their cleaning.  People value that special personal attention.” Even after retirement, Dale has kept on making life more fun for others.  From 1990 to 2005, he almost singlehandedly did the Christmas decorations and lights around their four-story senior residential center in Denver.  Doris told us, “He was the only one in the neighborhood who decorated all four sides of their building!  Everybody else just did the front.  You know, he climbed up and down those tall ladders even when he got to be 92.” If you want to talk about playing horseshoes, Dale is your man.  He is a champion horseshoe player.  He played in a senior league that included 40 players.  During ten seasons, Dale was champion five years.  Leaving Denver and moving to Chicago in 2005, his biggest disappointment has been that he can no longer find anyone who wants to play horseshoes.  “They all say they have a bad back or a bad arm.  I can’t find anyone who will play with me.” I asked Dale if he could provide me with some of his keys to a long and successful life.  He gave me a handwritten note that reads as follows:
  1. God, parents, wife, and kids
  2. Creator, genes, diet, exercise
  3. Husband and wife 50/50; don’t let the sun set on your anger.
  4. Honesty (don’t even take tax deductions if they are iffy)
  5. Eat well but nothing fancy (oatmeal with raisins every day and good farm food)
Dale is a wonderful life model for the art of being—and living as—a very successful man.
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Many of our elder law clients live at Countryside Care Center in Aurora, Illinois. We hear from our clients and their families that great care is provided for both private pay and Medicaid clients. When we are asked by families to recommend a skilled care facility, we often say, “Choose the care, not the curtains!”  In other words, investigate what it’s like to live in a facility—don’t just judge the place by the décor and the architecture. Recently, I had the pleasure of taking a tour of Countryside Care Center to get to know the staff better.  Jean Bennett, Marketing Manager, greeted me and introduced me to Anthony Clark, R.N., Clinical Nurse Manager and Physician Liaison (pictured on the left in the photo above).  After telling me some of his favorite lawyer jokes, he showed me a whole new way to think about long-term care nursing. Q:    Anthony, why do you serve here at Countryside? A:    I had wanted to get an operating room position, but due to circumstances, I decided to apply here.  Actually, an operating room job can be easier, because you never get attached to the patients—and most of the time… you win!—the patient gets well.  But in a nursing home facility, you experience just the opposite.  You spend long periods of time building relationships with people, and then you face the reality of their inevitable death.  You have to learn how to deal with your grief. That’s one of the real challenges of being a part of a long term care setting.  Ultimately, you will lose someone you care about.  I try to focus on providing our residents with comfort, care, and friendship.  I have a lot of friends who live here. Q:    How do you and your staff find job satisfaction working in the nursing home at Countryside? A:    One of the greatest things we have here at Countryside is our Reminiscence Boulevard; that’s our memory enrichment wing.  Our staff go out of their way to love and care for our residents.  They smile, joke, sing, and dance together.  The staff on the Boulevard take pride in what they do.  They do their work well, and the residents and the residents’ families come to trust each one of them. Q:    What is one of the big reasons that you chose to work at Countryside? A:    Formerly, I did work in a fancy and totally remodeled short-term rehabilitation center.  Before the new construction, it had been an older, smaller facility.  The nursing team had been able to provide the highest quality of care.  But, after the reconstruction, we had a state-of-the-art building in which it was physically impossible for us to safely serve our residents.  Here, we can see all of the rooms from either end of the hallway. Q:    What is a special point of pride for you? A:    The staff must be emotionally up each time they come through the door, or it will show to our residents.  I am proud that every day, this care team shows up emotionally ready for the day. Many of us under-appreciate those who serve our frail, elderly and disabled, with both compassion and true friendship.  Thank you, Anthony, Jean, and the nursing teams like those at Countryside.
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santa-john I will never take Santa Claus for granted again! Most of us grew up with Santa Claus as a beloved Christmas icon. Maybe you have one or two special Santa memories that you cherish. Did you take your kids to visit Santa and then tuck the photo away as a life-long Christmas treasure?  I sure did! I have always taken it all for granted. I never realized how hard it is for parents of a special needs child to give their kids a Santa moment. At the July 2009, Autism Society of America conference, I met Santa John of Santa America whose mission is to bring “Unconditional Love, Hope and Joy wrapped in a warm Santa hug to special needs children and their families 365 days a year!”  (see Compassionate Santa Services.) Santa America and the Autism Society of America announced a “gentle alliance” that will help children affected by autism and their families have a rewarding experience with Santa for the holiday season.  “Autism is a complex neurodevelopment disability that typically appears in the first two years of life and affects a person’s ability to communicate and interact with others.” Santa John told me, “Children dealing with Autism cannot tolerate the noise, crowds, and the wait involved in a Santa visit. Trying to take kids with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) to see Santa at the mall is total sensory overload. As the child and his parent struggle to deal with the situation some other well-meaning adult scowl and say sarcastically, ‘Can’t you control your child?’ The true answer is no! They really can not control their ASD child.  Even if  parents try their best to give their child what every other normal family enjoys as an  American Christmas Tradition, the parents and the child are often humiliated and rejected.” Santa-America tenderly serves three groups of very special children:
  • Children in hospice or children with parents or grandparents in hospice; and
  • Children with chronic pediatric conditions  or in palliative care; and
  • Children suffering post traumatic stress due to abuse, violence, or other trauma.
I asked how Santa ‘knows all’ when dealing with such challenging situations. Santa John warmly shared that every Santa America Santa is given very careful training. He learns how to:
  • Identify a child on the autism spectrum
  • Learn to ‘tone it down’ to avoid causing a negative response
  • Learn to use story-telling cards and relaxing techniques
Last Christmas, Santa John and the Kansas City-Autism Society Heartland Chapter gave over 50 families an opportunity to meet Santa and have photos taken with him. Santa John told me that, “visits were scheduled with 3-4 families every 30 minutes. Each family met with Santa in a private room next to a cozy fireplace. Santa had his Book of Good Boys and Girls with a page for each child listing their birthday, friends, teachers, and what they wanted for Christmas. Most importantly, the families knew that everyone there would be accepting of any behavioral differences their child might have.” As I listened to this kind and caring man share his compassion for these special kids, I realized that he is a Santa who is a model of the true meaning of Christmas. Santa John says that what Santa America needs most is for us all to donate to help Santas across our nation deliver gifts of Love, Hope, and Joy.  Click here to donate. Santa John’s amazing personal story will be the subject of next week’s blog.
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