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City Slickers is one of my favorite movies.  It is a comedic and philosophical glorification of urban men trying to live out life’s meaning through the machismo of adventure travel.  If you haven’t seen this film for some time, I recommend you take a peek at it during the holidays. In this 1991 Billy Crystal classic, three friends decide to trade their briefcases for saddle leather to fill the emptiness in their lives.  This film always inspires me to remember to keep my life balanced despite the ever present stresses of productivity, competition, and just plain constantly trying to figure out what’s the best thing to do next.  Actually life is pretty hard, because we don’t have much guidance for how to respond to the ever-changing environment around us. Many years ago, when my oldest son Adam was about 12, I told him, “I’m sorry to have to admit this, son, but your mother and I try to make the best decisions about you—but the truth is… we’re just making this up as we go along!  You see, we’ve never been here before.”  We all just get swept along in the river of life, and sometimes it’s hard to steer, and to remember what it’s all about. The movie shows us a midlife crisis dad and husband who is just plain worn out by his job, his life, and his tedium.  He and his wife reach a crisis point where she asks him to leave and “go and find your smile.”  So, he and his two lifelong buddies spend the next two weeks being transformed from New York city slickers into real cowboys who bring in the herd under crisis conditions.  One of the key moments in the movie is when Jack Palance, playing crusty old top hand Curly, tells Billy Crystal that there’s only one thing that’s important in life.  What they learn along the way is that the one thing that makes life worth living may be different for each of us.  For me, I try to live out the Golden Rule, and I find that I’m most satisfied when serving others—but without an occasional “recharge” I can get pretty ornery and my family starts to call me a curmudgeon.  The thing that makes me smile is when, like those city slickers, I get a chance to sit on a fine horse under a big sky—or be with my grandkids. Nonetheless, there are times that I lose my smile, too—when I get wrapped up into misplaced thinking that my stuff and my position are my foundation in life.  So I want to recommend that you take a moment at the beginning of this New Year and think about where you need to go or what you need to do to find your smile in 2010!
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1217living-like-wise-men-pic The photo above was taken of three ceramic wise men that we purchased about 35 years ago at our church’s Christmas craft sale.  We have always treasured these three wise men ornaments.  This is our first empty-nester Christmas, and we pause to chuckle as we recall our kids arguing over who got to hang the wise guys on the tree.  In fact our attorney daughter, Diana, has annually insisted that she is the one to inherit these wise ones after we have passed away.  Sometimes she tries to take them home with her, even though we’re still here. For us, Christmas is one of our two high holidays, and these ornaments have me pondering their special message of Christmas.  The dear couple who crafted these ornaments have been dear friends and mentors over the years.  But like all of us, time has passed and these gentle people are now clients of our elder law firm.  For decades they have quietly worked to care for those around them.  In a way, when you saw this couple, it was if you were looking upon the wise men—since their hands were always bearing gifts to enrich those around them. Well, now they have moved into an assisted living center and they’re not as able to make crafts for an annual sale.  When I recall their lives of overflowing love, charity, and faith, I know that I, too, have been visited by the wise men—wise men who have brought precious gifts to me and to those around me. May all of us who claim the Christmas Creed act in love, to bless the lives of those around us.  May we be wise men! Rick
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1210your-ira-pic It is a common human paradox that we often treat money from different sources as if it had different value.  For example, money from an inheritance or the lottery is almost always spent on luxuries and frivolous things—it’s typically gone within 18 months.  Money from a bonus is blown on those extras that you feel that you “deserve.” One source of money seems to be treated as far more valuable than any other source—IRA funds.  In our practice we talk to senior after senior who would rather die than spend their IRA and/or 401(k) money.  When we do estate planning, gift planning, and long-term care planning, we often find that our clients are willing to use almost any other source of money except spending their IRA funds.  Why is that? The answer is that they spent a lifetime accumulating those funds through their working years.  This money means much more to them than “phony-baloney” capital gains increases in the house that they bought for $30,000 which is now valued at $300,000.  To them, that’s not “real money.”  But there is no question in their minds that the money that’s in their IRA is something that they sweated to accumulate.  Now in their retirement years they don’t want to let that money go. Like a legendary dragon who safeguards his hoard of treasure against all attackers, our senior citizen clients hoard their IRAs.  We have had many clients tell us with anger in their voices that “they [the IRS] make me take so much money out of my IRA every year!”  They have forgotten why they saved that money in the first place. Kathy Motley, our Executive VP of Operations, often tells people, “You forgot why you got your IRA!”  She reminds them that they accumulated that money over their working years so that they could spend the money in their retirement years.  The reason to accumulate this money in a tax-deferred manner is so that when they reach their retirement years, they are able to use that money and pay income taxes at a lower rate of taxation.  She goes on to say that they have developed a habit over the years of thinking about this money as “untouchable.”  They have developed a habit of using all other sources of money except their IRAs. We have to ask our clients what would actually benefit the IRS more—our seniors taking the money out and using it for the things they need?—or forcing their children to take the money out at higher tax rates?  Our clients have seldom considered the fact that if they don’t spend the dollars, it will be spent by their children after paying a higher tax rate. Of course, there’s always the argument that if the client dies with the IRA, then the child could stretch the benefits of the IRA over a lifetime.  But most of our seniors say to us, “I know my kids could save the money, but they won’t…  They’ll spend it and spend it fast!” So the question that we have to analyze with our senior citizen clients is this:  who should pay the taxes on the IRA?  Would it be better for them to use their taxable money now, or leave it for their children?  Many of the senior clients that we talk to are people who have already begun to incur sizeable out-of-pocket medical care costs.  There is a substantial deduction for our seniors who must incur large, unreimbursed health care costs.  We try to show them that they’re often much better off using taxable IRA dollars to pay for deductable medical care expenses.  It’s always a better idea to spend tax dollars when you have an offsetting deduction. So as you think about that IRA—don’t forget why you got it!
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Recently,  I experienced that it is far more ‘profitable’ to ring bells for the Salvation Army when you partner up with an enthusiastic four-year-old granddaughter.  Let me tell you the story,  which illustrates some key principles on how to get people to say “yes.” It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving.  My wife, Rose, my granddaughter Lucy, and I stood by the exit door of a major Chicagoland food store.  We were ringing bells for the Salvation Army, which does charitable work for the distressed and dispossessed.  To put it bluntly, we were like beggars on the street.  It was obvious to us that many people were choosing to treat us as “the invisible.”  They would intentionally avert their eyes from us! Rose and I knew that if we could get young Lucy involved with the bell ringing, it would certainly help us to fill our bucket.  It did not take long for Lucy to become enthused about asking people for money—and the results were outstanding! It was fascinating to watch as Lucy implemented her “give me money” strategies.  She whirled, twirled, and danced with enthusiasm while I hummed aloud a Christmas tune.  Every time the exit door opened, she would look people directly in the eye, extend an open hand, and cheerily say, “Happy Holidays!” I had the pleasure of watching people who would have passed us by… stop.  With Lucy standing in their path and with outstretched hand and cheery greeting—they would pull out a dollar bill or their pocket change.  She would take the money and  put it in the bucket slot.  In fact, she quickly became “Queen of the Bucket.”  She would clearly express her displeasure when anyone tried to skip her hand to put the money directly in the slot.  That was her job!  The photo below shows Lucy with left hand outstretched and right hand and arm covering the top of the bucket and the money slot.  (This is a candid shot!) salvation-army-photo-2reduced Why was Lucy so successful in getting people to do what she wanted?  The answer to that question is  important to each one of us who need to get people to say “yes” to our “ask”: 1.    She was in alignment with one of the key marketing principles highlighted by Robert Cialdini, PhD in his landmark book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion—she got people to like her.  Cialdini refers to ‘liking’ as “the friendly thief.”  We will say yes to those we like.  Lucy is a cheery little girl who presents a familiar and friendly image.  That image triggers a positive association in the eye of the beholder.  Nearly everyone knows and loves, or has been loved by, a happy child.  When they looked at  Lucy, they did not want to disappoint someone that they liked; and 2.    She placed herself in their path while clearly and unmistakably confronting people with a straightforward “ask.”  Her body position and her outstretched hand were the request, and behind her stood a red bucket and her smiling grandparents; and 3.    She never gave up, even when she experienced rejection.  When people ignored her or refused to give her money, she simply pulled herself together and got ready for the door to open again.  Isn’t that just like a child?  They will just keep on asking until they get to ‘yes’ (or your discipline boundary). What “yeses” do you need to get this week to be more successful in your law practice, your health care community, or your professional practice?  Think about Lucy’s lessons and how they can help you fill your bucket!  Work to make yourself more likeable and to trigger positive associations within your prospect.  Be more direct in asking for what you want and/or a referral.  Finally, don’t give up!  The first ”no” sets you up for the next opportunity. By the way, this Christmas and holiday season, please give generously to the many charities like the Salvation Army who serve the under-resourced and those who are in great need. Thanks, Grandpa Rick
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